Very Memoir

Genderqueer by Maia Kobabe

[Saint Louis, Mo.] : The Lion Forge, LLC, 2019.

239 p. : chiefly col. ill. ; 21 cm. 

There's a lot to like and admire about Genderqueer.  This graphic novel memoir reveals with great honesty Kobabe's life of coming to terms with eir (Kobabe uses e/em/eir pronouns) gender identity. Assigned female gender at birth, this graphic novel follows Kobabe's intensely personal (often painful) struggle to figure out what eir gender/sexuality/identity is. 

The thing I like so much about this memoir is that it really opens up to the reader how intense and real the gender struggle can be for someone who does not fit into the more "normative" categories of gender and sexuality. Kobabe, a very sensitive person, is often tormented as e figures out what e thinks/feels about dating, coming out, pronoun use, clothing use, appearance, family dynamics, friendship, seeing the doctor, etc. A reader can learn so much about how many obstacles to self-realization exist in our society. However, the book is ultimately hopeful as Kobabe gets closer and closer to figuring out and embracing eir true self.

My only hesitancy about the book, is it's intense preoccupation with self. Of course, it's a memoir, but there were times when I just wanted the author to look beyond eirself and reflect on the lives of others who are in similar or even worse situations - but that's probably just me!

      

Little They Them

A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson
Portland, OR : Limerence Press, Inc., 2018.
1 v. (unpaged) : chiefly ill. ; 18 cm.

This is a helpful little (about 60 pages) graphic novel guide to using non-binary pronouns.  It's especially aimed at the good natured cis folks like me, who want to convey openness, support and respect for non-binary gendered folks, especially those who want to be referred to as the singular "they" or "them." The book also touches on the pronoun "ze" and some of its cases when it's "hir" or "hirself."  But that's getting a bit into details....

The book really is a gentle easing into the use of non-gendered pronouns for people who aren't around those pronouns a lot and may get confused or flustered.  It's also just a book to encourage the frustrated or confused (but supportive) to not worry about mistakes - and instead to open up to the attitude of living and learning.

A Kirkus review did mention that the book has its limits of mainly a white person's view, but it is still a good book to have on hand when someone wants to quickly get up to speed on the basics of the new non-gendered pronouns.  Get it!

     

Open Heart

The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, [2017].
445 p. ; 22 cm.

Yes, it's kind of a long book (logging in at over 400 pages) but it reads pretty easily and it really is a lovely book to read.  A cursory description of the book (teen with dead mother has loving gay adoptive father, smart snarky female friend who loses her mother, and homeless friend who loses his mother, all set in a Mexican American family setting in El Paso) might make it seem like a parody of the YA realistic problem novel, but it is a lot more than that.

The novel is definitely a bildungsroman centering on Sal, the boy whose mother died when he was three and who left him in the care of her wonderful gay friend, the painter Vincente who raises him.  Sal has to deal with changes in him that happen during his senior year.  Who "really" is he?  What is this new anger that causes him to punch out a couple of bigots and homophobes? How will he cope with the loss of his beloved aunt Mima who is old and dying.  And what about his friend Sam - who is very smart and ambitious, but only dates crummy "bad" boys? And theirs Fito, too, Sal's friend who lives with an addict mother - is studious and saving up for college - and ends up homeless?  Yes, it's a lot and yet, Sáenz manages to spin out his novel as if he's just telling you the true story of his own life. 

There is so much heart in this novel.  Several passages really did get me teary, especially the depth of friendship between the teens and the depth of parental love from Sal's father.  As a Kirkus review states, this book is another "stellar, gentle look into the emotional lives of teens on the cusp of adulthood."

In this year of bigotry, racism, presidential vulgarity, and government-inspired hatred of immigrants, reading this novel felt like a spa-vacation for my heart and a retreat for my mind.

Yes, I would recommend it!

Transformative

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo
New York : Flatiron Books, 2016.
280 p. ; 22 cm.

I'm glad I read Russo's book about a transgender teen girl who has moved to live with her father and attend a new high school after bullying and brutal assault at her previous hometown and school.

I think what I loved most is that the book manages to be basically a sweet tale of friendship and romance - while threading that narrow ground of avoiding being either a tale of brutality and violence or a naive upbeat "everything will be okay" fable.  As the review from Kirkus notes, it is "a sweet, believable romance that stokes the fires of hope without devolving into saccharine perfection or horrific tragedy."

It's a great book for trans teens, adults and cisgender folks like me! 

I also really liked that the author, a trans woman, has an afterword, especially meant for cis readers, where she explains ways in which her story reflects only one version of reality (and a creatively fictionalize one at that), and should not be taken as plain truth guide to what life is like for trans teens.  She also includes several hotline resources for readers who may be contemplating suicide.